Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Meet Anthony Demon Jones a/k/a Tony Jones
Name: Anthony Demon Jones
Alias: The Defendant
Employer: The Locker Room
Occupation: Violent Habitual Offender
Getting his ass kicked by JPD
Today DJT recognizes Anthony Demon Jones. Mr. Jones was recently approved for a likely full-ride, lifetime scholarship to Thug University. The scholarship, sponsored by Hinds County District Attorney Robert S. Smith's Special Habitual Intervention Team (S.H.I.T.) program, offers a full-range of services for individuals who require State assistance in their daily lives.
DA Smith stated that Mr. Jones' selection shows that persistence pays off. "Mr. Jones submitted 18 applications to previous administrations, but was rejected each time," Smith said. To make sure he got approved this time, Jones submitted two applications to the S.H.I.T. program. Before the DA's office could process the first application, Jones applied again. That's unusual, according to Smith, "We have lots of applicants, but most only apply once." This determination caught the attention of the DA's office. "With determination like that, Anthony Demon Jones is just the type of candidate we want in the S.H.I.T. program."
Couldn't have said it any better ourselves, Mr. Smith.
[Note: All quotes attributed to District Attorney Robert Smith are complete fabrications. Mr. Smith, to DJT's knowledge, never said those things.]
Posted by Curt Crowley at 3:48 PM